Trump Damage Report 2/25/2017
Democrats flailing, Spicey Boy failing, human rights bailing, coverage assailing, author jailing, correspondents’ dinner curtailing, debt tall-tale-ing in the daily Trump Damage Report for February 25th, 2017. Gird your loins.
• Republican Congresscritter Darrell Issa has called for a special prosecutor to head up a Trump-Russia probe.
• France’s President Hollande fires back at Trump’s unsubstantiated claims about crime in Europe, stating “”I won’t make comparisons but here, people don’t have access to guns. Here, you don’t have people with guns opening fire on the crowd simply for the satisfaction of causing drama and tragedy.” The homicide rate per capita in the United States is 3.9, compared to 1.2 in France. You are 325% more likely to get murdered in the United States than you are in France.
• A fantastic website has been set up that pretends Hillary won. HillarybeatTrump.org poses theoretical news from the first thirty days of “Madam President’s” administration, and the Washington Post reports that Trump fans are livid about the site.
• House Democrats are bringing Dreamers and Muslim-Americans to Trump’s first address to Congress in an attempt to troll the orange menace.
• The Trump administration is preparing to pull the United States out of the United Nations Human Rights Council, Politico reports. Human rights violations and tragedies are expected to increase substantially on the global scale during the Trump administration, with some growing concern that those may take place within the United States itself.
• Fox News interviews a fake Swedish security expert on the subject of Swedish security. According to Swedish news organization Dagens Nyheter, “neither the Swedish Defense Ministry nor Foreign Office have heard of the expert. Nils Bildt, who called for an ‘open and honest’ debate on crime, has previously been convicted of a violent offence in the United States.”
• A 70-year old children’s book author was detained by US Border Control acting under new orders from the Trump administration. “I felt like I had been physically assaulted which is why, when I got to my hotel room, I completely collapsed and sobbed like a baby. And I’m 70 years old,” she told the ABC.
• The New York Times covers Trump’s shock at lack of control over the press. He’s not playing with tabloids anymore.
• A leaked report on the new GOP “healthcare” plan and subsequent analysis show that millions would stand to lose coverage that they currently have now.
• Trump will not be attending the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, breaking with decades-old tradition. News is circulating that Alec Baldwin may attend instead, in full Trump regalia.
• Democrats elect Tom Perez, the establishment favorite, as Chairperson of the DNC. Because going with the establishment pick has worked out perfectly for them so far. There’s absolutely no need to switch dead horses mid-stream. Trump welcomes him to the fight by cheering the election result. Perez fires back with a line worthy of a substitute teacher.
• CNN’s Jake Tapper trolls Spicey Boy over birtherism in a fierce Twitter exchange. Sorry Spice is cranky that his birthplace has been misreported. Tapper says “must bother you when someone puts out false information about where you were born.”
• Trump purports that the national debt decreased by $12 billion dollars since his administration started. This is hilariously wrong, and Politifact pegs this as “Mostly False”. Considering Twitler hasn’t proposed or passed any financial legislation, and the national debt fluctuates over time, and he inherited a strong economy from Obama – this is clearly a goofball claim.
• Shep Smith of Fox News tells viewers, CNN and other news organizations are not “fake news.” At a certain point, Fox News may have discovered to their horror that they are next on Trump’s chopping block after MSNBC, CNN, NYT, and the other media is destroyed.