Trump Damage Report – 7/29/2017
Adieu sweet Prience, Russia doesn’t want Trump!*, behind the scenes of Mooch and Herr Priebus, Saturday morning Trumper-tantrum, divorce rationale, withheld payments, Executive Fly Swatter, crazy fat kids and nukes, constitutional right to troll, George Will’s bright side, and John Kelly suffering fools. All this and more in your daily Trump Damage Report for Saturday, July 29th, 2017.
- Trump insisted that Russia never wanted him elected, and didn’t collude to try and make that happen, The Hill reports. “Russia was against Trump in the 2016 election – and why not, I want strong military & low oil prices”, Twitler said. Trump, Trump’s associates, Trump’s family members, all of Trump’s campaign managers, Trump’s campaign consultants, and Trump’s in-laws all have extensive ties to Russia, Putin, and Russia’s oligarchs. Putin is the one world leader that Trump has never said anything approaching bad or negative about. Trump asked Russia to hack Hillary’s emails during the campaign, pushed back on sanctions against Russia, and had several off-the-records meetings with Putin where no notes were kept.
- The real reason behind the war between The Mooch and Herr Priebus goes back to the transition, HuffPost reports. “Rancid Penis” as Trump’s new communications director calls him, was critical of The Mooch and kept him from being added to the administration.
- House Republicans are blaming Trump for the reason stripping healthcare from millions of Americans failed, The Hill reports. He “never laid out a plan.” At least 40% of Trump’s time has been spent golfing and on vacation, so it’s tough to really criticize the guy for not having the time to come up with a so-called “plan”.
- The Mooch’s wife filed for divorced due to his unbridled political ambitions, and because of “her dislike of Trump”, The Telegraph reports. She was 9 months pregnant when she requested the divorce.
- Trump threatened to withhold payments required for Obamacare unless repeal passes, The Hill reports. Look, I’m not going to pay for any more gas any more unless you crash this car right into that wall. That’s the type of thing an insane person would say.
- Trump has thrown a temper tantrum over healthcare and calls Senators “fools” while raging, PoliticsUSA reports.
- Trump “took out the trash” on Friday and dumped Herr Priebus as his Chief of Staff, replacing him with John Kelly from Department of Homeland Security, Yahoo News reports. Herr Priebus made an audible “whump” as his body was flung under the Trump bus, his bones making a loud crunching noise as inevitably befits anyone who demonstrates loyalty to Trump. Whose next?
- Priebus was literally kicked out of the motorcade when he was fired via Tweet, Vox reports. One is left to wonder whether or not special counsel Robert Mueller was on his speed dial. Priebus is going to sing like a canary.
- Trump once summoned Reince Priebus to kill a fly in the oval office, The Hill reports. There was a fly buzzing around Trump’s head, distracting him, so he called in Priebus and told him to kill the fly. The Chief of Staff to the President of the United States of America was pulled away from his duties, of which there are hundreds, each more important than the last, to kill a flying insect that was slightly annoying the snowflake at the head of the executive branch of our government.
- North Korea tested a new missile, and can now reach the mainland United States as far as Chicago, StarTribune and other news organizations report. In related news, DHS is now absent a head as Trump plays musical chairs with his cabinet.
- A federal court has ruled that public officials cannot block social media users because of their criticism, Slate reports. Which is pretty cool. Here’s a link to The White House Facebook page. For reasons.
- Trump encouraged cops to treat suspects roughly, promoting police brutality against citizens law enforcement is supposed to protect and serve, Mother Jones reports. At some point, Trump may be arrested for his treasonous acts against the United States. When that time comes, we echo Trump’s own words in how to handle suspects in that they should “Please don’t be too nice.” The International Association of Chiefs of Police had to issue a clarification/apology after Trump’s remarks.
- Republicans (what’s left of them) are in shock this weekend over all the drama flowing out of the Trump administration, The Hill reports. Priebus bus-chucked, The Mooch’s curse-fest, Russia investigation continuing to metastasize. It’s only been six months, guys. Strap in.
- John Kelly, Trump’s new chief of staff “won’t suffer idiots and fools”, The Washington Post reports. But clearly, he does work for them.
- George Will savages Trump in today’s op-ed in The Washington Post, looking to the bright side of the Trump administration. That being, this experience is paring down for America what it means to be elected President, and the roles that are critical in the job. We’ve become complacent in expecting basic competence, so we’ll get to see what happens now with the ongoing horror.