
Kid Rock Wins Election for US Senate
Kid Rock, who was once arrested for assault at a Waffle House while out on bond, has won the 2018 election for United States Senate in the state of Michigan. Of course it’s still September 2017, but thanks to pattern analysis and deductive reasoning, we can skip ahead in the story. Kid Rock gave this speech on Tuesday, September 12th, 2017. He offered the statement in rhyming verse as an evocation to the powers that would elect him to the most powerful deliberative body in the world.
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